igetwet:

Encountered this last night in the Mission with Nikki.

This morning my friend asked me if I thought there was a market for dildos with foreskin. 

“Black people are the coolest!” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

It’s not that Christina Aguilera’s boobs make her look fat. It’s that she is fat.

Rihanna needs to quit it with the tattoos.

Dog Day Afternoon. (what I’m saying is I’m going to rob a bank today)

LAZER DOG WILL GET YOU

Not quite ready for another baby. But soon!

This blog will now only be pictures of me with various dogs.

Also, I have shows next week at Bec’s Bar in Berkeley on the 10th at 8:30.

Things have taken a turn for the worst.

I needed new head shots. It’s going REALLY well!

courtingcomedy:

I survived a coup d’état which is a French word that means “Where is my mom?”
- Mimi Vilmenay bringing the pain @ Brainwash

Club Deluxe in the Haight at 9pm. I’m going to tell jokes and complain about Christmas.

This really is a new low for me.

This is how I’m spending Pre-Christmas with my dear friend who just quit her job. She’s leaving me for her dad’s tomorrow. He has a pool and hot tub and lives on a ranch and I’m not allowed to go. (Jesus is finally punishing me for those abortions.)

This is what happens when my boyfriend and children abandon me for a week during Christmas with nothing but a fridge full of pot butter.

Merry Christmas, Joe Gorman.

Oakland tonight.